One of the guidelines for authentic relating and circling is “no fixing, changing, or advising,” and yet many of us fall into doing that repeatedly. It happens so often that we’ve discussed what to do about it: should the first person who notices it call it out? Should we have a non-intrusive hand gesture? No one wants to be harsh to someone who clearly means well, but fixing someone’s problem takes us out of presence.

At circling session for experienced practitioners, we’re going to keep an eye out for advice-giving, and when we notice it, we’re going to examine what lies beneath that nearly irresistible urge to help in all of us.